LIFE TOPIC
#1
its utterly bizarre to me that despite having known you most of you guys for six or seven years i have a pretty shallow glimpse into the lives that you live, and vice versa. part of that might be because of the inherent value that we (or at least i) used to see in message boards: an escape into an alternate universe where youre free from the shackles of your every day existence, where what you say and who you are is a nebulous blob that can be shaped in your vision instead of being inexplicably tied to the indelibility of the real world. but the fact that we've all maintained a connection to this place and to each other goes beyond the joy that we find in forum posting - we value each other as people, and its the primary reason that, even though i might call lord a narcissist and solly a faggot, this is the only forum i could ever see myself being active on.

so we shouldnt need a myriad of specific threads in order to divulge a stray fact or two about who we are. just because we've never met each other in real life doesnt mean we cant be real friends, with every thing that it entails - celebrating each others victories, supporting each other during tough times, and just in general taking a more active interest in the lives of the people we've known for years.

this topic is a way to reinforce that idea and to foster a closer community. in here, post about your life. not just the mundane facts of every day existence (though that is certainly welcome) but your dreams and goals and sorrows and tribulations. the longer the better.

lets get to know each other.
Reply
#2
ps im KINDA drunk
Reply
#3
what do you want to know about me Rayne, ask me anything
 
Reply
#4
(07-29-2016, 04:14 AM)Kirby Wrote: what do you want to know about me Rayne, ask me anything

ditto
Reply
#5
Same


~And other faggotry~
Reply
#6
(07-29-2016, 04:07 AM)Ascaris Wrote: ps im KINDA drunk

... and you wrecked it.
Quote:Well, I open my eyes and I see things. I've seen spirits moving through the walls. I've seen a vortex coming through the wall. I've seen amorphous little balls of light bouncing all around in the front yard through the window. I've seen giant bugs on the floor. I was in a hotel room in Amarillo, Texas, and all I remember is standing on the bed and seeing the whole wall in front of me filled with lights that were [makes popping sound] popping like popcorn out of the wall. Then I'll wake up and I go "Wow, I was standing on my bed and staring at this wall."
Reply
#7
oh lord
Reply
#8
lord why are we so mean to each other
Reply
#9
Because lord is extremely narcissistic and you are kinda the opposite
Just one simple step, give Khaos all your rep!
Reply
#10
(07-29-2016, 12:01 PM)Khaos Wrote: Because lord is extremely narcissistic and you are kinda the opposite

I ship it
Discount Jontron
Reply
#11
I had to withdraw everything from my savings today to pay rent and buy food. Back to square one.
Cool
Reply
#12
my lifes kind of in the gutter at this point. over senior year ive been struggling with severe bouts of apathy and depression, exacerbated by a very cavalier usage of substances. my academic performance last fall, even though it was never anything to write home about, went to shit and i was put on probation. i then failed my probation requirement in the spring and was about to be kicked out of the university, but i had like 10 credits left and spent most of my tenure in good academic standing so i guess the people in charge of this took pity on me and i was put on a 'special probation' that allowed me to stay over the summer and finish up the classes that i fucked up. despite this basically being my last chance to get my shit together and finish my degree im still barely scraping by. but im at the home stretch so ill found out next week whether my measly performance was enough to earn me credits.

on top of this im in a significant amount of debt. my family life has been all sorts of fucked up for a while now, and im completely estranged from my mother and barely in touch with my father. as a consequence they havent supported me financially for a while now so ive been getting by through a combination of money ive earned through my internships and loans from friends. but college is fucking expensive so my net worth is now about negative 20k. my goal was to get through the summer and attain my degree then start working a fairly lucrative gig in the fall so i could start paying it off. but now, because i chose to stay over the summer, my student status expired and i have to apply for a reinstatement before i can get authorized to work and because of goddamn bureaucracy that whole process will probably take about 5-6 months. so i have to bum around in america with no job, no money and no source of income while owing large sums of money for half a year before i can get back up on my feet. and im still struggling with the lingering depression thats making it very hard for me to even get the ball rolling on the reinstatement process, much less take charge of my life in general.

theres far more shit i have to complain about but heres a taster of the rayne lifestyle at the moment. certainly not an enviable position to be in.
Reply
#13
(07-29-2016, 10:49 PM)Ascaris Wrote: my lifes kind of in the gutter at this point. over senior year ive been struggling with severe bouts of apathy and depression, exacerbated by a very cavalier usage of substances. my academic performance last fall, even though it was never anything to write home about, went to shit and i was put on probation. i then failed my probation requirement in the spring and was about to be kicked out of the university, but  i had like 10 credits left and spent most of my tenure in good academic standing so i guess the people in charge of this took pity on me and i was put on a 'special probation' that allowed me to stay over the summer and finish up the classes that i fucked up. despite this basically being my last chance to get my shit together and finish my degree im still barely scraping by. but im at the home stretch so ill found out next week whether my measly performance was enough to earn me credits.

on top of this im in a significant amount of debt. my family life has been all sorts of fucked up for a while now, and im completely estranged from my mother and barely in touch with my father. as a consequence they havent supported me financially for a while now so ive been getting by through a combination of money ive earned through my internships and loans from friends. but college is fucking expensive so my net worth is now about negative 20k. my goal was to get through the summer and attain my degree then start working a fairly lucrative gig in the fall so i could start paying it off. but now, because i chose to stay over the summer, my student status expired and i have to apply for a reinstatement before i can get authorized to work and because of goddamn bureaucracy that whole process will probably take about 5-6 months. so i have to bum around in america with no job, no money and no source of income while owing large sums of money for half a year before i can get back up on my feet. and im still struggling with the lingering depression thats making it very hard for me to even get the ball rolling on the reinstatement process, much less take charge of my life in general.

theres far more shit i have to complain about but heres a taster of the rayne lifestyle at the moment. certainly not an enviable position to be in.

Damn. I'm curious to know what else you have to complain about, I quite like your writing voice.

Have you sought professional help for the depression/apathy/anhedonia?
Quote:Well, I open my eyes and I see things. I've seen spirits moving through the walls. I've seen a vortex coming through the wall. I've seen amorphous little balls of light bouncing all around in the front yard through the window. I've seen giant bugs on the floor. I was in a hotel room in Amarillo, Texas, and all I remember is standing on the bed and seeing the whole wall in front of me filled with lights that were [makes popping sound] popping like popcorn out of the wall. Then I'll wake up and I go "Wow, I was standing on my bed and staring at this wall."
Reply
#14
yes im seeing a therapist. im not sure how much its helping though.
Reply
#15
that sucks rayne. do you still suspect you'll be able to get a well paying tech job easily enough when you do graduate?

if you want to feel better about your debt, my net worth is around negative 80k and i have much lower future earning potential than you.
Reply
#16
(07-29-2016, 11:18 PM)God Wrote: do you still suspect you'll be able to get a well paying tech job easily enough when you do graduate?

yes thats the silver lining. i already technically have something lined up, but that was supposed to start in september and this whole reinstatement thing puts a wrench in the gears. ive been talking to them to try and come up with some sort of compromise and they seem fairly understanding about my predicament. but if for some reason they end up turning me away im pretty confident ill be able to find another gig easily enough.
Reply
#17
Don't come looking for tech jobs in Phoenix, they are all taken and they only care to even look at your resume if you have a Masters or PhD.
Reply
#18
pichubro at the risk of sounding incredibly arrogant i have no doubt i could get a job in phoenix
Reply
#19
future-proofing my employability is one thing ive done very well during my college tenure. companies bend over backwards for me.
Reply
#20
Well that sucks, Ascaris. You seem to have attempted to stabilize the downward spiral so it's a good start. Just keep at it and do things a day at a time. Depression and apathy though they suck, aren't completely negative, they have positives attached to them like viewing situations more realistically and objectively so it can definitely be a boost to getting out of financial problems even if you'll suffer for a good bit.

Suffering is good in doses.


As for me, I've been bartending and tending tables at a restaurant and though I haven't had financial help for a few years, I've found balance in my life of not drowning in debt from school while keeping my grades up. Mentally, I have improved a lot over the years and coping mechanisms are very nice to have even if I still have trouble connecting with others.


~And other faggotry~
Reply
#21
I graduated a few months ago and am going to graduate school myself. If you forgot I am a Mathematics major and I want to be a Math teacher at college level, so I at least have to get my masters.

I can sympathize with Rayne that I am pretty confident that when I do get my masters, that I can then get a job. Apparently there are not a lot of credentials to be a college teacher ironically, when I asked my teachers back at Marywood, their life story was pretty much "I got a ton of mathematics education, and then I got my doctorate and became a professor." They don't need to specialize in education or anything, and there is a lot of need for such people.

On the flip side however, until I at least get my masters, my degree is worthless, I cannot do much of anything with a straight up Math degree at bachelor level... so I am applying to be a stocker at grocery stores.
 
Reply
#22
(07-30-2016, 09:07 AM)Kirby Wrote: I cannot do much of anything with a straight up Math degree at bachelor level...

im not sure how true this is. mathematics, even at the bachelors level, is difficult (or at least has the aura of being difficult) which shows employers that youre at the very least a pretty smart person. also, a math degree is essentially a course that teaches you how to formalize and solve quantitative problems - that has a huge amount of applicability in finance, analytics, engineering, etc. you might not have the skills to be immediately successful at these positions but honestly most undergrad degrees, ironically even the ones that feed into those types of gigs, dont prepare students for the industry - they end up learning on the job. wherever you end up working the chances are that youre going to be at the same level of competency as your peers.
Reply
#23
thats pretty cool though, im glad im not the only stem major here. what are you going to be specializing in? also are you gonna get a doctorate?
Reply
#24
From what I understand, the only work I can do getting right out of college is actuarial work. But the thing is A: I have no interest in it, and B: statistics is one of my biggest weak points in mathematics, and actuarial work, or other such industry work, is heavily statistics focus. I would also need to take a test for it that I am pretty sure I would fail.

From what I understand, what area I come to specialize in is determined in graduate school itself, so I don't have an idea yet. I also have no plays in the immediate future to get a doctorate. I kind of plan on just being a math teacher at a community college, so that kind of education isn't necessary. Maybe way down the line once I get all my ducks in a row.

The only field of mathematics which I absolutely love is Geometry, which unfortunately is a dead field. Pretty much every question in Geometry has been answered because it was at its high like 3,000 years years ago. My current college looks like it has an applied math focus, *meh*.
 
Reply
#25
I applied to two super market jobs and I have been rejected for both of them. :/
 
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)